Nurturing Resilience: Supporting Children Returning to School After Tragedy

The aftermath of a tragedy can cast a long shadow over a community, affecting the lives of even its youngest members in profound ways. In New Orleans and other areas where community violence and homicide have become unfortunate realities, the simple act of returning to school can be weighed down with fear and uncertainty for children. 

As caregivers, educators, and community members, it is our collective responsibility to provide the support and resources necessary for these children to heal, grow, and thrive once again. Dr. Julie Kaplow, Executive Director of the Children’s Hospital Trauma and Grief Center, lays out strategies to help kids navigate the challenges of returning to school after a tragedy, fostering an environment of resilience, empathy, and hope. 

1. Provide a sense of safety and security 

When the world feels out of control, it can help children to know that the adults surrounding them are there to protect them and keep them safe. It can also be helpful to remind kids of the things they can and do control (e.g., what they choose to eat for breakfast, what activities they do after school, who they spend time with) and help them to distinguish between “kid worries” (e.g., homework) versus “adult worries” (e.g., how to keep kids safe).  

2. Use simple and straightforward language 

Speak to children in language they can understand. Well intentioned adults sometimes provide either too much information, which can be overwhelming, or too little information, which can cause further confusion and anxiety. It is best to allow children to guide the conversation as much as possible. For example, a caregiver can say, “You may have heard some very sad news about what happened today. What questions or worries do you have for me about that?”  

3. Provide supervision.  

Like adults, children and adolescents can feel overwhelmed after repeatedly hearing about a shooting through media outlets. Caregivers can help by monitoring what children are watching on TV, limiting exposure to the news, and answering any questions that come up for them.  

4. Maintain structure.  

In times of chaos, children find comfort in predictability. Stick to a familiar routine as much as possible, such as maintaining regular bedtimes, keeping up with regular family activities, etc. to help reduce distress.  

5. Encourage social support.  

Social support is a major protective factor for adults and children alike during times of stress. Provide opportunities for youth to feel close to family, friends, and those who can provide care and support.  

6. Adults should engage in their own self-care.  

Children take their cues from the adults in their lives, and caregivers’ own reactions can impact children’s distress. Caregivers should be mindful of their own stress and anxiety levels and ensure they are getting the support they need, whether that means connecting with their own support systems, taking breaks from work or other stressors, or reaching out to a therapist. 

Caregivers should also be on the lookout for signs that their child may need a higher level of support from a mental health professional. These signs can include:  

• In very young children (ages 3 to 6): behavioral regressions in language, sleeping, eating; excessive clinginess; increased tantrums or oppositional behavior; and/or somatic complaints (stomach aches) 

• School-aged children (ages 7 to 11): separation anxiety; new fears (not necessarily directly related to the incident); difficulties eating or sleeping; irritability or angry outbursts; and/or excessive crying 

• In older youth or adolescents (ages 12 to 18): nightmares; trouble sleeping; social withdrawal; extreme sadness; risky behaviors (e.g., increased substance use, reckless driving); and/or self-harm or threats of self-harm. 

Returning to school after a tragedy can be an incredibly daunting task for children. However, by prioritizing open conversations, emotional well-being, and a nurturing environment, we can pave the path toward healing and empower these children to thrive despite any challenges they face.