Helping little ones manage big emotions

We cannot always control the world around us, but we can learn how to manage our emotions and reactions. Emotions play a crucial role in shaping our actions and behaviors. The ability to express and feel emotions is a gift that helps us connect with the world. However, controlling emotions can be particularly challenging for young children. 

Importance of Emotions  

Emotions help us understand what we're feeling, why we're feeling that way, and how to tend to your emotional needs. Both adults and young children experience emotions, whether it's happiness and excitement from eating an ice cream cone or the frustration of being told "no" to a toy they wanted. 

Emotions can: 

• Impact your decisions. 

• Motivate you to act. 

• Help you avoid danger.  

• Help others understand you better. 

• Allow you to understand others and foster empathy. 

Identifying Emotions 

Children often struggle to identify their emotions, especially when they're experiencing strong feelings. It is important to teach children the wide range of emotions we can feel throughout life. Help your child build their emotional vocabulary beyond just "happy" and "mad." Practice labeling their emotions and the emotions of others. For example, if a sibling or friend is crying, you can say, “He’s feeling frustrated.” When your child is happily playing, you can comment, “You must be excited about your new toy!” This teaches your child to identify emotions in themselves and others. 

Managing Big Feelings  

Managing emotions can be challenging for adults, and it's even more so for children. It can feel overwhelming for a child when they don't have control over their emotions. Here are some ways to teach children emotional intelligence: 

1. Label their feelings: Encourage them to identify and name their emotions in the moment. 

2. Do not avoid feelings: Allow your child to feel upset, sad, or angry. 

3. Allow your child to go through emotions: Give them time to feel and process their emotions without immediately attempting to make it better.  

4. Teach coping skills: Provide tools for managing emotions when big feelings arise,  such as taking deep breaths, counting to ten, drinking water, or going for a walk.  

Everyone experiences emotions and some can be difficult to navigate. Teaching children how to cope with their emotions at an early age is essential to lifelong emotional wellbeing and success. Encourage your children to talk about how they are feeling and show empathy. Work with them on problem-solving and finding solutions. Emotions can be scary, but with the right tools, children can learn to work through them! 

To learn more about teach emotions, visit  Books to Help Little Children Handle Big Emotions | ZERO TO THREE and discover more from the Children’s Hospital New Orleans Parenting Center at www.chnola.org/parentingcenter.